The Potions King
by blue artemis
Summary: Sibyll Trelawney gets a rather musical revenge on Severus Snape. Song fic. I apologize for this in advance, but I got this image in my head, and it wouldn't go away until I wrote it down.


It was a beautiful April day in Scotland. The students of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry were starting to get a little spring fevery, and the term break was still two weeks away. This could definitely be a recipe for trouble, and the staff was on the look out for any bad behavior. Sibyll Trelawney had turned to Severus Snape that morning at breakfast and predicted dire trouble for him. He made a disdainful comment and turned away from her in a huff. Had he not done that, he might have seen the gleam in her myopic eyes.

Nothing had happened that whole day, at lunch the elves had served Severus's favorite meal, so he thought quite smugly that he had proven once again that Divination was a bunch of bunk. He ate quite a bit, the roast beef sandwiches were rare and perfectly covered with horseradish, the spinach salad was wonderful and there was chocolate cake for dessert. Had he bothered to look, he would have seen a rare look of satisfaction on Sibyll's face.

Everyone had just seated themselves for dinner, when a rather irresistible beat started playing, seemingly from nowhere. All of a sudden, and most certainly against his will, Severus Snape stood on his chair and started to sing.

_You can mash, all those eyes  
Having the time of your life  
Ooh see that boil, watch that steam  
In class with the Potions King!_

He climbed onto the Head Table and started to dance rather well. Pomona and Rolanda started giggling when he pulled off his outer robe with a flourish.

_Friday night in the moon's glow  
Looking high and looking low  
Where you find the ingredients, escaping Aragog  
Through the trees and around the bog  
_  
"Wow, I didn't know Snape could dance!" Ron muttered in a sort of dazed awe.

_Not everyone could be that guy  
Still so young and really fly  
With a bunch of students, detentions are fine  
Get them to scrub and mash  
And make them take out the trash_

"I didn't know Snape could sing!" Pansy said, sighing a bit.

_I am the Potions King  
Long and lean, and really very mean  
Potions King, feel the heat  
from the cauldron ring, oh yeah_

"Shouldn't someone stop this?" Hermione asked. She promptly got shushed by Lavender and Parvati.

_You can mash, all those eyes  
Having the time of your life  
Ooh see that boil, watch that steam  
In class with the Potions King!_

Minerva was seen exchanging a galleon with Filius.

_Use that stirrer, crush that stone  
Leave it burning until it's gone  
Looking out for each other, or it will turn to goo  
Get them to scrub and mash  
And make them take out the trash_

Albus was bobbing his head and tapping his feet.

_I am the Potions King  
Long and lean, and really very mean  
Potions King, feel the heat  
from the cauldron ring, oh yeah_

Luna asked if any one else saw the Nargles.

_You can mash, all those eyes  
Having the time of your life  
Ooh see that boil, watch that steam  
In class with the Potions King!  
I am the Potions King!_

The song finished, the mysterious music ended, and Severus rather slowly returned to his seat, retrieving his robe from Hagrid. As he slunk out of the Great Hall past Sibyll, she turned and said: "You know Severus, I got an O on my Potions NEWT. And I would call that performance rather dire."

He turned to glare at her, but gave up in the face of her smirk. He had forgotten that she was a Slytherin.

Dancing Queen--ABBA

You can dance, you can jive  
Having the time of your life  
Ooh see that girl, watch that scene  
Dig in the dancing queen

Friday night and the lights are low  
Looking out for a place to go  
Where they play the right music, getting in the swing  
You come in to look for a king

Anybody could be that guy  
Night is young and the music's high  
With a bit of rock music, everything is fine  
You're in the mood for a dance  
And when you get the chance

You are the dancing queen  
Young and sweet, only seventeen  
Dancing queen, feel the beat  
From the tambourine, oh yeah

You can dance, you can jive  
Having the time of your life  
Ooh see that girl, watch that scene  
Dig in the dancing queen

You're a teaser, you turn 'em on  
Leave 'em burning and then you're gone  
Looking out for another, anyone will do  
You're in the mood for a dance  
And when you get the chance

You are the dancing queen  
Young and sweet, only seventeen  
Dancing queen, feel the beat  
From the tambourine, oh yeah

You can dance, you can jive  
Having the time of your life  
Ooh see that girl, watch that scene  
Dig in the dancing queen  
Dig in the dancing queen


End file.
